


Being Mean is Just So Fun

by TWLBOAJ



Series: Self-Indulgent Blackrom Nonsense [2]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, F/F, F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Multi, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Threesome - F/F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-06-10 05:32:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6941884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TWLBOAJ/pseuds/TWLBOAJ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a rough afternoon of hate-fucking with his hate-friend date-friend, John decides to pay his girlfriend Roxy a visit to regale her with the details. Of course, he should've known better than to think things would go according to plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to Competition, the first work I put on here. I got a couple of requests for a John/Terezi/Roxy fic to come after, so here's the start of it! Because of the logistics involved in threesomes, it's gonna be a little longer and might take me more time to finish.

“Oh, my god. Are you… okay…?” Rose squinted at John's injuries, trying to discern if they were from sex or combat. Probably sex, she decided. Karkat had mentioned, gossip that he was, that Terezi was planning something sinister, something caliginous. “You look as though you went through a shredder, and then attempted to fight to regain your honor by pushing yourself back up through the blades.” 

“Ha, ha. Very funny.” John stuck his tongue out. “And yes, I'm fine, thank you. Is Roxy home? I have to tell her some stuff.” 

“Stuff, you say? Gracious me, can't wait for that,” Rose replied in her usual facetious tone, with a cheeky grin to match. “Yes, she's home. Come on in.” She waved him in, and he entered the house where Rose, Dave, Roxy, Calliope, and Kanaya lived. Unlike the soft, homey residence he was used to, which usually smelled like vanilla and had lots of potted plants and framed pictures of mustachio'd men hanging about, Rose's house was decorated with a disturbing number of wizard statues, and littered here and there with tidy piles of books, yarn, and polaroid film. It was fantastic, if a little alien. 

Taking care not to bump over a particularly shocked-looking wizard, (who Roxy had named Zazzerpan, if memory served) John walked down the hall, to the door labeled “roxy's room. cats welcome. all others knock, pls” and knocked politely on the door. Almost immediately, he heard giggling and “shush” noises. Oh, boy. 

“Uh, Roxy? You okay in there? It's me, John...” Calling through the door seemed pointless, so with a small huff, he reached for the door handle. “Hey, I'm coming in, bearing sordid stories from yesterday... You alright?” He opened the door up, and saw that the lights were off. A bit of natural light still filtered in through the curtains, as well as flooding in from the now-open doorway, illuminating Roxy sitting on her bed, making out with Terezi Pyrope. 

“Well, it's about time you got here,” Terezi shouted, moving her mouth away from Roxy's collarbones. “Been waiting for you for like an hour! Had to start without you! Slow-ass.” It took John a few seconds to collect his thoughts well enough to use his voice, but even then, he couldn't quite manage words.

“Uh… HUH? Wha- is a the fu…?” Amidst the static fogging up John's thought processes, he became vaguely aware of Roxy standing up and moving towards him. She put a hand on his shoulder and giggled something along the lines of “are you okay?” He shook his head to clear his thoughts up a bit, and took a good look at what was going on once more. Roxy was gently, slowly tugging at his clothes, and Terezi was lounging on Roxy's bed, looking disgustingly smug. God, she was such an asshole sometimes. She must have sensed his eyes boring holes in her skull, since she let out a mean-spirited chuckle and sat up, flipping her hair. 

“Don't act so shocked, John. Did you really think I was fucking with you yesterday when I said we should invite Roxy in on all this?” 

“So, how do you wanna do this, cutie?” Roxy asked, fiddling with John's pants buttons. He turned to stare at her, and saw her eyes, pink as roses and sparkling with mischief, staring back at him. This was a huge mess of confusing bullshit, but his girlfriend and his kismesis seemed to know what they were doing, and he'd be damned if he let himself get bamboozled two days in a row. He was a prankster, and by god, he'd have to start acting like it. He had a reputation to uphold. In a sudden moment of inspiration, his faced brightened up into a goofy buck-toothed grin and he whispered something in Roxy's ear. Roxy shot him a wicked little smile of her own, and nodded in agreement. 

Meanwhile, Terezi sat patiently on the bed, waiting for a good opportunity to strike. She didn't like the idea of her co-conspirator working both sides as she was, but ultimately, there was nothing she could do about it. She'd have to keep her wits about her. Her contemplating was interrupted by a fit of giggling from Roxy and John, along with the shuffling of clothes. Sounds like they were finally ready to get this thing going. She removed her shirt and tossed it in the corner, where she'd left her glasses and shoes. 

“Do I have to go over there and get you two, or are you gonna come here?” she asked, toying with the waistband of her jeans, just showing the edges of her hip bones. John and Roxy jumped onto the bed together, bouncing Terezi a few inches into the air. She let out a tiny scream of surprise. “Oh my god, you two suck!” She yelped, landing in a decidedly un-sexy position. 

“Oh, hush. You deserve it,” John retorted, giving her nose a boop with his finger. She snapped her teeth at him, and he pulled his hand back. Meanwhile, Roxy had removed all of his clothes except for his underwear at this point, and he'd gotten her down to her bra and boyshorts. She tapped him on the shoulder and nibbled at the back of his neck to get his attention.

“I have an idea. Maybe we should have a li'l fun with the young lady. What'cha think, hot stuff?” John turned back to look at her with a smile and playfully reached back to grab at one of her thighs. 

“I think that's a marvelous idea, Roxy. And what should we do with her, do you think?” She reached forward, gently running her fingers along his crotch through his boxers, and looked at Terezi, whose eyes had widened in surprise. Clearly, the troll hadn't been expecting them both to turn on her so fast, and had no idea what to expect now. 

“Not sure… I'm partial to sensory deprivation, myself… obviously not blindfolds, but there are other things we could do...” 

Fifteen minutes later, Terezi found herself tied naked to a chair facing the bed, unable to touch John, Roxy, or even herself. What she could do, however, was hear and smell John and Roxy fucking on the bed right in front of her while she squirmed, frustrated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things actually get started.

Roxy was knelt in front of the bed, one hand supporting her, leaning on the bed, and the other rubbing at her clit. She had John's cock in her mouth and he was alternating between gasping and moaning with pleasure, and shooting smug looks in Terezi's direction. He glanced over her tied-up body, admiring all the scratches and bite marks he'd given her the other day, before turning his attention back to Roxy. She moved the hand that was on the bed and grabbed at his ass, pulling him towards her as she took the entire length of his cock into her mouth and throat, moaning softly. He gently ran his fingers through her hair, trying not to whimper too much. She was so beautiful down there, and as unromantic as the moment was, he couldn't help but feel his heart flutter just a little. 

“UGH, GOD. Are you two just gonna sit there being all lovey-dovey and boring and blowjobby while I have to stay here? I thought we were vacillating up in here,” Terezi growled, sick of having no attention. “I mean sure, you're both hot and this is nice and all, but I'm bored and full of unspent hatred, so if you don't mind, I'd like to get my mouth in on this action, too.” She smiled her creepiest, toothiest smile as Roxy and John looked over at her. He glanced down at Roxy, unsure of what to do, and she shook her head at him. Not yet. Let her squirm a little while longer. He nodded with a slight grin and pulled her up so that Roxy was standing over him, and he scooted back onto the bed to let her on. 

“Y'know, Terezi, I'd love to help you out, but you just look so cute in that rope, and you're so pretty when you blush all angry like that, I just can't bear to get you out of there,” John taunted, as Roxy climbed onto the bed. 

“I fucking hate you,” she huffed, trying to reach at a knot in the rope with her fingernails.

“Good,” he replied. Roxy put her hand over his mouth, raising one eyebrow.

“You ever gonna shut up down there? Jeez. I get that this is part of your thing and all, but if you weren't all torn up, I'd think you two just exchanged your banter bullshit instead of actually getting to the dirty yesterday.” His mouth still covered, John looked up at her apologetically and smooshed her tummy and waist as she straddled him. Roxy took her hand off his mouth. “Now do you want me to fuck you, or what?”

“Yes, please,” he replied meekly. With a chuckle, Roxy lowered herself onto his cock and shifted her hips forward and back, drawing a sharp gasp from him. She moved so slowly it was almost painful, and John found that giving her a sad, big-eyed look wasn't helping like it normally would. There was something different about the expression on her face… something just a little bit wicked. She wasn't on his team in this. She was playing both sides against the middle, that minx. If anything, though, it only made him want her more. As wonderful as kindness and affection and the like could be, there was something incredibly hot about finding a little sadistic streak in the otherwise sweet and thoughtful girl. However, that increased attractiveness only made it all the more frustrating that she seemed to have no interest in speeding things up. John weighed his options, trying not to get too distracted. He could always try thrusting up from below, but that might wind up with him getting tied up, and if anything, that'd make the teasing worse. On the other hand, he could lay here like a useless pile of mush and die of blue balls. Plus, being tied up and played with sounded really hot, so maybe it wouldn't be that bad… John decided to risk it, giving in to baser needs and fucking Roxy from below. Unlike Terezi, however, she did not seem to mind, and in fact burst into delighted giggles. She arched her back, leaning forward and allowing John to lean up and kiss her. Meanwhile, Terezi growled audibly from a few feet away, and struggled further in her chair. 

“Come onnnn……..” she moaned, at last.. “I'm dying over here… am I gonna get to fuck anyone today, or what?” Her frustration and arousal were all John needed to shift things into high gear. He gripped Roxy's soft hips with his fingers and pushed his hips upward as hard and fast as he could. In his frenzy, John became somewhat aware of the rather undignified stream of moans and stammered words coming out of his mouth, but he was too turned on to care. Roxy, similarly, was moaning and wailing like a porn star, albeit with an amusing bouncing lilt courtesy of the fact that she was being fucked from below. After less than a minute, however, a sound was cutting through all of this, and both of the humans couldn't help but stop for a moment. Terezi had started making a high-pitched keening sound, and her hips were thrusting involuntarily, making the chair scrape across the ground. Roxy got off of John and pulled him up. He was less than happy about having to stop, but there was a third person in the room, and it wouldn't be fair to just leave her there, even if she was a huge jerk. He glanced at Roxy, who nodded and smiled. Time to uncage the beast. 

John, trying not to wobble, stood and walked over to where Terezi was seated. She snarled at his approach. 

“You dick. You think I need your pity?” she nearly spat at him, red eyes practically glowing. “Think you can just get me to roll over by getting me all hot and bothered, is that it?” With a smirk, John leaned down in front of her and grabbed her jaw, making her face him, as she had done to him the day before.

“What the hell are you talking about? This isn't pity.” He got in closer, brushing his lips across her ear. She shivered. “I'm gonna edge you until you fucking scream, and Roxy's gonna help,” he whispered. Terezi was able to hold back a moan, but only just. And in fact, she was only able to hold it back for a moment, as she felt someone kissing her neck. It took a second to realize it was Roxy, and not John. No stupid buck teeth. A hand (definitely John's) reached down, meanwhile, dragging fingernails agonizingly slow up her inner thigh. She tried her best to stifle a gasp. She wasn't going to beg, though. No way. She was a fighter of crime, ruthless and clever. No way would this squishy little human break her will. Not even with backup. Her resolve faltered ever so slightly, though, when she felt him slip a couple of finger inside her. She didn't even both holding back a moan of pleasure as she bucked her hips against his hand. 

Roxy continued kissing Terezi's neck and shoulder, but upon peeking out the corner of her eye at what was going on, things seemed a little too one-sided to her. Time to level the playing field, ramp things up a notch. She surreptitiously reached her left hand back and loosened the rope around Terezi's wrists. That'd do it, she decided. 

Meanwhile, John had pushed his mouth against Terezi's, braving her sharp teeth with the knowledge that at least she found him attractive enough to not dismember him too much. Small dangers aside, she was so much fun to make out with. Forceful, passionate, and distinctly adversarial. Each kiss was a small battle, with a real possibility of defeat for either of the participants. This time around, though, things didn't look like they were going to go in his favor, as all of a sudden he felt a strong hand with sharp nails grab his hair, tugging his head back. Fuck. 

Roxy took a step back, circling around to corner John between her and Terezi. He wasn't getting out of this unscathed. He didn't seem to notice, though. His focus was occupied at the fact that he'd just tried to be menacing with someone who most definitely now had the upper hand. Literally, in this case. Terezi untied her ankles and stood up, hand still gripping John's hair. He pulled his fingers out of her as she did, and with a small sigh of arousal, she smiled. 

“Sorry, what was that about edging me until I scream? You're gonna have to try a little harder than that.” She traced the back of her other hand across his cheek, and his breath caught as he felt her nails drag ever so gently against his skin. She pulled his head back a little further, exposing his throat. His heart leapt, and his cock twitched. He was terrified, but couldn't wait for whatever was about to happen. She lightly slapped him across the face, making him whine softly. Roxy finally grabbed his hips from behind, pushing her crotch against his ass, and her breasts against his back. She lightly bit at the back of his shoulders, making him arch his back with excitement. Terezi struck, darting out and grabbing onto his throat with her mouth. She sucked on the delicate skin of his neck, just barely letting her teeth drag on it. She didn't want to kill him, after all. Just hurt him a little. John completely abandoned all pretense of being in control, whimpering and moaning at the sensation of what the girls were doing to him. He tried to reach down and jerk off, but Roxy stayed his hand. 

“Oh no you don't, hot stuff,” she murmured in his ear, giving his earlobe a quick and playful nibble. “We're not through with you just yet." John couldn't even use words at this point, and only made a desperate, disappointed whimper in response. Terezi chuckled and released his throat. 

“You want me to fuck you, don't you?” she asked, sticking two of her fingers in his mouth. 

“Uh-huh,” he responded, muffled by her fingers. He rolled his tongue across her fingertips, sucking on them as she gently pushed them in and out of his mouth. He could barely keep his eyes open, and it took immense effort to not grind his hips against her.

“And are you gonna beg me for it?” she asked. John was about to say yes, or try to, when his pride came bursting back in. Wait a minute, this wasn't how this was supposed to happen! Trying not to let the aching need in his dick take over, he glared at her and gently bit down on her fingers.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three of them just can't hold back anymore.

“Nuh-uh,” John mumbled, as clearly as he could, trying his best to look defiant. Rather than being disappointed, however, Terezi smiled. She took her fingers out of his mouth and brought her hand down to lightly run the fingertips, wet with spit, along the length of his cock. He gasped and moaned again, trying to wrest his right hand free from Roxy's grip as he pulled Terezi closer with his left. He gently scratched his nails into the back of her neck, pulling her into a kiss, desperate for more sensation. Meanwhile, Roxy pushed her body up closer to John's, closing the remaining distance between them and pushing her crotch against his ass. 

Soon, the three of them were stumbling back towards the bed, still trying to maintain as much skin contact with each other as possible. John's brain was swimming, and at this point hate and rivalry and empathy and romance were the furthest things from his mind. There was nothing but overpowering, needy lust, guiding him to kiss and touch and grab the two girls indiscriminately, desperately. Roxy had similarly been whipped up into a frenzy, kissing whoever she could reach and grinding up against whatever surfaces she could. Terezi, however, had just enough willpower left in reserve to hold back just a bit. She was far too mischievous and competitive to just leave this whole thing as a plain old threesome without being a little meaner. After all, where's the fun in that, if your kismesis is right there, practically begging to be fucked with? She took a second to assess the situation, and finally reached for Roxy, pulling her close. 

Roxy, who no longer cared who won what and just wanted… no, needed, to be fucked, enthusiastically wrapped her arms around Terezi, kissing her deeply. The girls groped and caressed each other, and John found himself on the outside of the whole thing. It was nice to see two people he was very attracted to making out, sure, but he was burning up and needed to get off soon. His dick was harder than he remembered it ever being, and he couldn't help but start touching himself as he watched Roxy leave a trail of kisses down Terezi's neck, chest, stomach… 

Terezi sensed almost immediately that he'd cracked and couldn't wait anymore just as Roxy's tongue reached her clit. Trying to keep her devious plots in motion even as she moaned and bucked her hips, she beckoned to John, biting her lip invitingly. He moved to her unquestioningly, mind fogged up by how much he wanted her, how much he wanted them both. He kissed her lips, and leaned in as she opened her mouth to accommodate his tongue. Everything seemed like it was running predictably, until John reached his hands up to hold Terezi's face close to his. That was what she'd been waiting for. 

With a sudden clicking noise, the handcuffs Terezi had captchalogued earlier appeared on John's wrists, and she yanked the chain connecting them downwards, effectively pinning his hands to the bed. John, who couldn't even form words in his surprise, made a vague offended noise, looking quite betrayed. Roxy looked up and saw his predicament, and the clouds of aching need cleared up just enough for her to laugh in surprise. 

“Oh my god!! Were you planning that the whole time?” She asked, looking up at Terezi and squeezing her thighs. “So naughty.” Terezi giggled, only to gasp as Roxy continued giving her oral.

“Well, I wouldn't want him to blow his load too early. I might wanna play with him some more.” John, who was on all fours, squirmed and whimpered. Precum dripped steadily off the end of his cock, and he felt as though he were about to explode if he didn't get release soon. His pride couldn't overcome his need, and he decided to do what he had to. 

“Please fuck me,” he panted, his big blue eyes staring at Terezi helplessly. She ran her fingers through Roxy's hair and tried to control the involuntary thrusting of her hips. 

“Is that you begging?” she asked, voice low and cruel. “You're asking me nicely?” He nodded vehemently. 

“Yes. Please,” he nearly sobbed. Terezi grinned and arched an eyebrow. That'd do. She moved backwards slightly and guided Roxy's face upwards. 

“What do you say we get him in on this, Lalonde? I think he's earned it now.” Roxy sat up and glanced at her boyfriend. He looked like he was about to cry from how overwhelmed he was, and although she cared for him very much and the two of them were generally good to each other, she couldn't help but be very excited at how incredibly hot he was like this. She looked at him for a moment, enjoying the sight of him squirming on all fours and breathing heavily, before focusing again on Terezi's words.

“I'd say so! Poor guy needs it, I think. Ain't that right, gorgeous?” She stroked his face with her fingertips. He nodded silently. The girls smiled at each other. They knew just what to do with him. 

Terezi lay on her back, legs dangling over the edge of the bed. John, standing up in front of her, lined his dick up to start fucking her. Meanwhile, Roxy was already getting hers, sitting on Terezi's face and giving her breasts the occasional squeeze. John looked at his kismesis, and was suddenly overcome with frustration that he'd been the first one to break. He thrust his cock inside of her suddenly and with force, fucking her as hard and fast as he could. He could hear her moans, muffled against Roxy, rising in pitch and volume. Roxy seemed to be loving this, and she bit on her lower lip as her eyelids fluttered. She leaned down to kiss John. He did not slow down as he craned his neck up to meet her. Tongues entangled, they soon joined Terezi in making noises of arousal and excitement. At last, they broke the kiss, and moments later Roxy's eyes rolled back in her head as her moans began to crescendo into wails. She was so gorgeous like this, John decided. He'd have to try and make this happen more often. 

With a scream of pleasure, Roxy finally came on Terezi's mouth, shaking slightly. That was too much for John to handle, and he soon followed suit, fucking Terezi hard and fast until he too had finished inside of her. The two humans backed off, and Terezi wiped her mouth triumphantly. But as fun as that had been, she wasn't done yet, and they knew it. John moved up to kiss her, while Roxy settled back in between her legs, placing a couple of fingers inside her as she licked and sucked around her vulva. The two of them dispensed with the force and focused entirely on finishing her off. 

Terezi moaned loudly into John's mouth, almost overcome with pleasure. She felt herself quickly approaching orgasm, and dug her nails into the bedsheets as the two humans continued in their onslaught. Yesterday's scratches and bruises came alive again, as though they were still new, as her body was filled with electrifying bursts of sensation. With a spasm of her entire body, Terezi finally came, her mind going momentarily blank. However, she noticed a second later that neither John nor Roxy had stopped, and her incredibly sensitive vulva pulsed with both post-orgasm bliss and intense arousal at the continued stimulation. She breathed heavily and her body convulsed, coming again within the next minute. Her moans had, in that time, become screams, and she had torn a hole in the bed sheets with her nails. At last, the humans released her, and she flopped, still twitching, back onto the middle of the bed. They joined her, happily cuddling up next to each other, so that Roxy was the big spoon, with John in the middle, holding onto Terezi. 

“Thanks for this, by the way,” Roxy whispered to John, holding back yawns. “This was fun.” 

“Think we oughtta do it again?” He asked, glancing back at her. She nodded, and settled in to get some sleep. Terezi had already nodded off, it seemed. It made sense, though. She'd had a big day. 

John settled himself into a comfortable position, tucked between the two girls, and smiled to himself as he realized he'd have the best bragging rights ever the next time he and Karkat hung out, and before he knew it, he was drifting off to sleep, too.


End file.
